Overcoming cultural and geographical barriers, an Indian man and a Vietnamese woman from Ninh Binh have built a joyful marriage after years of long-distance love.
A love across 4,000 kilometers
“One in Vietnam, one in India. Five years of long-distance love, two weddings, and now a little home filled with laughter,” said Doan Thi Hong Tham (born 1995 in Ha Nam, now Ninh Binh), recalling her cross-continental romance with her husband Ajeet Kumar Verma (born 1990).
Hong Tham and Ajeet, a couple connected by fate.
In 2015, while a second-year university student, Tham joined an online English learning group. Coincidentally, Ajeet was also on the same platform to improve his English. In those classes, Ajeet was the instructor while Tham was one of the students. After a few months, others dropped out, leaving just the two of them.
On Ajeet’s birthday in April 2016, Tham made a simple birthday video that unexpectedly touched his heart. Soon after, he confessed his feelings.
“At first, I ignored it,” Tham said. “Later, we started chatting more and I gradually opened up.”
Back then, Tham shared a rented room with her younger sister and was closely monitored. Their relationship had to remain a secret from her family. Ajeet, studying away from home, also kept it hidden from his own family.
The couple married in 2022 after years of long-distance love.
Their relationship quietly blossomed. At times, the 4,000km distance made Tham doubt their future, until Ajeet made a life-changing decision. He gave up his dream of becoming a civil servant - a path he had been pursuing for two years - to switch careers and make travel between India and Vietnam easier.
His family, having invested heavily in his studies, was furious. But his unwavering commitment convinced Tham of his sincerity.
In 2017, Ajeet flew to Vietnam to meet her for the first time. Despite his parents’ strong opposition, he followed his heart.
“I snuck out to the airport to pick him up,” Tham recalled. “Seeing the person I’d spoken to for two years felt surreal. He said our first hug gave him goosebumps because it was his first time hugging a girl.”
In 2018, Ajeet visited again and met Tham’s family. Her sisters used a voice translator app and allowed them to be friends only - not lovers. Ajeet was devastated and cried in front of them.
Tham was warmly welcomed by Ajeet's family during her first visit to India.
Yet, he didn’t give up. From that point on, he visited Vietnam twice a year. His persistence eventually won over Tham’s family - on the condition that he would live in Vietnam.
Once Ajeet's family learned Tham had a stable career and was a suitable partner, they too gave their blessing. In May 2022, Tham traveled to India for the first time to meet his parents and hold their wedding ceremony.
His family welcomed her warmly. His mother and sister bought her three traditional outfits and made sure she didn’t have to lift a finger - except to write wedding invitations.
“Every day together is a new adventure”
Guests applied turmeric paste to the couple’s faces during the Haldi ceremony.
In India, Tham got to plan every detail of the wedding - from the invitations and floral arrangements to the venue decor. She felt deeply respected by her in-laws.
The wedding spanned three days. The first day was the Haldi ceremony, where guests applied yellow turmeric paste to the couple as a blessing. The second day featured a hotel wedding celebration filled with music and dancing from evening until dawn. On the third day, the bride and groom received gifts from relatives and reciprocated with beautiful cloth offerings.
“The Mehndi ceremony was my favorite,” Tham said. “During the evening festivities, they drew complex symmetrical patterns on my hands and feet, hiding Ajeet’s name in the designs. If he couldn’t find it later, he’d be penalized.”
Bride Tham getting her intricate Mehndi design before the Indian ceremony
Four months later, their Vietnamese wedding took place with 12 members of the groom’s family in attendance. They were surprised at how quickly the event proceeded - and that unlike in India, the groom’s family had to present dowry and offerings.
“But neither family was too concerned about those formalities,” Tham said.
Now living in Hanoi, Ajeet works in IT while Tham is currently a homemaker. As her time in India was brief, cultural differences haven’t been much of a challenge.
“His entire family speaks English fluently, so communication is easy,” she said. “Every 2–3 days, my in-laws video call us. Despite the distance, we stay emotionally close.”
She admires her in-laws’ modern thinking and the respect they show toward their children’s decisions.
The Vietnamese wedding was joyful and heartfelt. Photos courtesy of the couple
As for Ajeet, Tham says simply, “He’s wonderful.” Intelligent and calm, he always puts family first. “He often tells me, ‘As long as you and our child are happy, nothing is too difficult for me.’”
Tham’s father passed away while she was in college, leaving her mother alone with four daughters. From the beginning of their relationship, Ajeet showed care for her mother and has since offered to bring her to live with them.
“That alone proved I chose the right man,” Tham said.
For her, the best part of becoming a wife and daughter-in-law in an Indian family is being immersed in two different cultures. “Every day is new,” she smiled, “just the way I like it. I’ve always hated routines.”
“I know this journey is just beginning, and there’s so much more to experience. I’m ready to welcome it all with excitement.”
Vietnamnet.vn
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